


pause

by ujisae



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Characters to be added as the story progresses, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Married Couple, cuddly jihoon yes, drabbles!, fluff?, got flashbacks, not exactly realistic but im trying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-03-26 01:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13847409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ujisae/pseuds/ujisae
Summary: Soonyoung and Jihoon's life outside the spotlight, as a married couple.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ok hello this is my first fic (wowie) i still don't know if this will work and garner a positive response (please let me know !! ) and if it does, this will be a compilation of drabbles in the same au, in a non-chronological order. enjoy!

Everything’s all chill in the Kwon-Lee apartment. It’s the place where the married couple would go straight to in times of great stress or just whenever they have the luxury to. Whenever Jihoon finishes working on an album, Soonyoung with his dance choreographies, when they were given some time off by their CEO, or just whenever they feel like going _home_ , their penthouse apartment is there.

 

Being idols, Jihoon and Soonyoung can’t live as a married couple as freely and normally as they could. They live in the spotlight, and their lives are mostly made public, whether it was their choice or not. They have an image to uphold, and it seemed like putting Woozi and Hoshi out there as the married couple they are isn’t really a favourable option. So as much as they could, they will leave Hoshi and Woozi by the doorstep, and try to spend time together in their private abode.

 

And by leaving their idol personas by the doorstep, it meant leaving it there by _all means_. (Jihoon says so.)

 

“Chan’s calling,” Soonyoung murmurs. Jihoon hums, draped all over Soonyoung with his eyes laid on a drama they were too lazy to change (they eventually got invested). “Probably about the choreo,” he adds on.

 

“You know what to do, Soonyoung,” the smaller drawls. Soonyoung groans while squeezing his husband in a tight hug, “But I already feel comfortable in this position!” But of course, Jihoon is unfazed. “You know what to do,” he repeats. With a sigh, Soonyoung lets go of Jihoon and stood up to go out to the balcony to answer Chan’s call.

 

This is the #1 rule in the household: no work-related stuff in the apartment. No calls, no stage names, no choreo-making, and no song composing, producing, and such.

 

It was a hard decision for the couple because it meant no producing room for Jihoon, and no practice room for Soonyoung. (“Do you really think you can survive this, Hoon?” “Says the one who thinks of add-ons to the choreography everywhere.”) It was an adjustment, but they learned to live with it. During promotions, crucial times before a comeback, and schedules, they usually sleep in their dorms for convenience. The apartment wasn’t really far from the dorm, yet not so near. It makes it hard for Jihoon, especially whenever he thinks of a song idea while laying on their bed late at night, and would badly want to run to his studio and make it come to life. But with the distance, and Soonyoung’s arm tightly wound around his waist, he just quickly types out the idea in his phone and keeps it a secret from the man beside him.

 

With this rule, they aren’t the only ones who are supposed to follow this. No, everyone who steps in their apartment is expected to follow the house rule.

 

If stage names were used, don’t expect a response.

 

“Hey Woozi,” Seungcheol steps in to check on his best friend, who’s stirring a cup of coffee at the counter. He doesn’t respond.

 

“Woozi! Hey!” Cheol tries again. Jihoon continues preparing his cup of coffee.

 

Cheol sighs, “Hey Jihoon!” The latter finally looks at him with a “surprised” look, “Ah Cheol, I didn’t know you were there.” Seungcheol rolls his eyes.

 

If anything related to music production or choreography were brought up, expect two men visibly shaking and trying to keep everything in (and eventually giving in).

 

“That looks like a nice move to add,” Jun points out from a variety show they were watching. Minghao immediately nudged him, reminding him of the rule. They both glanced to their performance leader, trying his best to look nonchalant but with his fists tightly closed and his breaths heavy. The two laugh at him quietly, knowing how struggled Soonyoung might feel at the moment. Suddenly, the latter bolts out of the apartment, dragging the two along.

 

As soon as the door shuts, his mouth started talking endlessly, and his limbs making all sorts of moves he thought.

 

With Jihoon and Soonyoung, both passionate with their work, you wouldn’t think of such a set-up to happen. You might expect a room empty of equipment (except a sound system) and walls lined with mirrors, and another room lined with soundproofing, and various kinds of instruments and production equipment inside. But, they got all of that in their dorms. Also, considering that they still live in their dorm most of the time, those rooms are well used by the couple.

 

Their apartment is for Soonyoung and Jihoon Kwon-Lee, the couple who got married in such an early age and don’t exactly have regular 9-to-5 jobs. The couple who usually stay indoors than outdoors, cooped up with their dramas and animes. The couple who blast Taemin’s Press Your Number in the most random times, with wireless karaoke microphones in their hands. The couple who just wants nothing but time with their loved one—the one who they promised to be with, ‘til death do they part.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what urged the wedding, and how the others knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ok new chap wow ! thanks for the response im so thankful wah alsjkga ok anyways in this chap a courthouse wedding is mentioned and i've researched on the process itself so in that case the happenings here may be inaccurate but pls just ride with me on this!!!! enjoy !!

They were married days before their debut showcase. It was a spontaneous decision, made beneath the bright lights of the practice room. Neither of them knew what spurred the thought, especially considering it was 2 AM or so. Wet fringes sticking on their foreheads, breaths heavy after a long practice session.

 

“Let’s get married,” Soonyoung whispers. The atmosphere was calm, and everything was quiet. He felt like his mind was at peace, while his heart was running a marathon. Soonyoung was unsure why he suddenly thought of marriage, especially since they both just turned 18 and was only in their 1st year of dating (after _years_ of pining and self-discovery), but in that moment, it felt as if it was the right decision. He doesn’t expect an agreement, or a simple hum. He knows his boyfriend; how he doesn’t make decisions in the spur of the moment, and how he likes to think thoroughly— “Yeah, let’s.”

 

While spending time in his thoughts, he didn’t notice Jihoon wrapping his arms around his (sweaty) torso. The smaller buried his face into Soonyoung’s chest, and smiled. It was the same for Jihoon; he didn’t know why, for a sudden, he couldn’t think of anything to say than “yes.” If he was asked this before or after that early morning, he probably would’ve said no. ‘We’re too young, Soon!’ he would probably exclaim. Jihoon closed his eyes and just let himself go. He’d like nothing more than spend his eternity with this stupid (beautiful) fool (love of his life).

 

“Let’s?”

 

“Let’s.”

 

After hours of just laying on the practice room floor, surrounded by tranquility and love, they went to their CEO to ask for permission. He’s very much aware of what’s going on in his company and that some of his trainees and idols are in relationships within their group. He was accepting, and asking him to grant permission for this spontaneous marriage was a chance they want to take. Surprisingly, he agreed. (“Were we all enchanted tonight? This is just too weird.”)

 

The next day, May 25, 2015, 8:05 AM, the couple were married in a courthouse, with their two witnesses, CEO Seo and Wonwoo (“Won, wake up. We’re getting married.” “Uh?”). There was no ring nor suits. There was no grand guest list, trails of flowers, red carpet, nor music. Yet, it was still one of the best days for the newlywed. Them, in their training clothes and Jihoon’s newly dyed pink hair, standing in front a judge, with their eyes not leaving each other. Vows weren’t said at that moment, but they already exchanged those just an hour ago, outside, when they were waiting for the courthouse to open.

 

It isn’t magical for others, but it was for them.

 

* * *

 

 

Wonwoo was the only one who knew (for a whole year since their marriage). He was a trusted mutual friend, which led him to being one of the wedding’s witnesses. With their debut just the day after, they figured to not tell the others yet, since they will be stacked with performances and schedules. (“Let’s just tell the others when we get some low time.” “Yeah, I guess so.”)

 

What went wrong was: they forgot. Wonwoo was unbothered and stayed true to his word in not telling the others. He knows it was the couple’s call if they want to reveal it or not. He thought they just didn’t want to tell it, even if a year already had passed, so knowing they _forgot_ baffled him.

 

“How do you forget to tell your friends, _whom you live with,_ that you’re married?” The couple shifts their eyes around the soundproofed room, just anywhere than Wonwoo’s direction.

 

Jihoon sighs, “We’ll tell them before our anniversary.”

 

“We will?” Soonyoung chirps in.

 

“Just make sure to do so. I’m sure they will be pissed,” the two hums in agreement.

 

They tell the rest of the group on May 23, and there were mixed emotions. Some were crying, some were suffocating them to death, while some needed time alone. Nonetheless, everyone was accepting and happy for the couple by both the group and the couple’s anniversary. All is well.

 

(Seungkwan was trying to fan his tears away, Seokmin and Vernon were still in shock with their mouth and eyes wide open, Seungcheol went quiet, Mingyu was jumping in joy, Jeonghan was hugging the two while crying. Minghao and Jun were hugging them as well, but _tighter_ , and Jisoo and Chan were smiling widely. Wonwoo doesn’t want the two to know he was tearing up as well.)

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thank you, for never leaving."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got too excited with the positive response ive been getting so far so i got motivated to write a new chapter !! i saw this tweet back then by user @jeongcheoled where someone should give jihoon a post-it question saying "what are the words you want to say to soonyoung that you always fail to say?" so this drabble was all based from that one question wah enjoy !

_“Woozi-ah! What are the words you want to say to Soonyoung but always fail to do so?”_

_“Thank you, for never leaving.”_

 

* * *

 

It was weeks before their debut. Jihoon was stressed, and was pouring his all for their comeback. He basically lived in his studio, cups of ramyeon and bottles of cola scattered everywhere. Jihoon couldn’t let himself rest even for a bit; he has the future of 12 other boys in his hands. It was too much pressure for an 18-year old boy, but this was what he wanted to do, and he’s going to give everything for their dreams to come to life.

 

Worried was an understatement when it came to what Soonyoung felt. As the group’s choreographer, he, too, felt loads of stress and pressure, but what Jihoon was doing was unhealthy, too unhealthy. He hasn’t spent time with the producer for days, and though he understood they were too busy preparing, each and every attempt of his to just spend a few minutes with the smaller failed.

 

“Jihoon?” Soonyoung knocked on the door before entering. There, as usual, was his boyfriend with his small eyes not leaving the computer screen, and hand not leaving the mouse. There was no sort of acknowledgement from the other, no hum, nor a simple ‘hey.’

 

Soonyoung stood beside Jihoon’s chair, waiting for the latter to notice him. Jihoon didn’t budge, and it was really as if Soonyoung was invisible. The producer groaned and scratched his head in frustration, and started clicking and typing aggressively. Still, no acknowledgement.

 

“Jihoon?” he tried again. None. “Babe,” none. Soonyoung sighed and crouched down, trying to pry Jihoon’s fingers from the mouse, “Babe, I think that’s enough for now. You’ve been here for too long—”

 

“Yah Kwon Soonyoung! Can you just leave me for awhile? Can’t you see I’m doing something? I can’t waste time! Just explaining this to you now _is_ already wasting my time to finish this album!” Jihoon pried Soonyoung’s fingers off him and shouted.

 

Soonyoung was taken aback. They had fought before, but only about simple things. Neither shouted, and neither asked the other to leave. This was all new to Soonyoung, and he was hurt.

 

“Jihoon, I’m just trying to take care of you as much as I could. You’ve been locking yourself in here for too long. You haven’t had a good sleep for days, even a proper meal. Jihoon, this isn’t right. Please babe, I’m getting worried for you! Seeing you tiring yourself out is tearing myself up. Babe, listen.”

 

“If it’s tearing yourself up then why don’t you just leave then? I didn’t ask you to take care of me. You aren’t my keeper. I already told you to leave earlier, Soonyoung. Leave.”

 

He can’t lie and say that he didn’t start tearing up then. Jihoon’s face was painted with pure anger and irritation. ‘Leave!’ The word kept on repeating in Soonyoung’s head. He just stared at his boyfriend, trying to keep his tears at bay.

 

“I won’t leave, Jihoon. Not when you’re like this, and not ever.”

 

His voice was trembling, yet he made sure to relay his message clearly. Jihoon won’t get rid of him that easily, and he wanted the smaller to know that. He waited for Jihoon, loved him from a far, and loved him more in every moment they were together. There are more struggles they’ll face in the future, and if he left now, it would be doomed for them from the start.

 

What Soonyoung said somewhat snapped Jihoon into reality. He immediately went cold, and shame poured on him like icy cold water. He realized the words he just said to the man he loved _so, so much_ , and would probably die without. Tears poured out like waterfalls, while he sat there, frozen. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’ his brain rang out. He can’t look at Soonyoung, no, he felt as if his privilege of doing so was revoked. Jihoon buried his face in his hands, and sobbed. ‘He says he won’t leave, but I’m sure he will, especially after this,’ he thought.

 

The taller knew it wasn’t Jihoon saying those words, it was the lack of sleep. Jihoon was not in his right mind, and he understands that, since he had episodes as such back then. It shattered his heart to see the man he loves with all his heart so _broken_. This. This was the moment he told himself that he’ll _never_ let Jihoon cry this much.

 

He cradled Jihoon’s face, and shushed him. “Hoonie, don’t cry, hm? Stop crying please, your eyes will get blotchy. Baby,” he gently pried the smaller’s fingers off. Jihoon’s eyes and nose were all red, and though the sight hurt him, Soonyoung gave him a small smile.

 

Jihoon only stared at him while sniffling, “Why do you still bother with me? You’ll leave eventually. I know it.” Soonyoung’s thumb wiped away the trails of tears streaming down his love’s snow white face. ‘Such tears don’t belong to such beauty,’ he sappily thought.

 

“Believe me on this, Jihoon. I won’t, _ever_ , leave you. I’ll always be beside you, through thick and thin, through joy and sorrow, everything. I love you, baby. I love you so much.”

 

Jihoon smiled at him, and Soonyoung smiled back. They’re okay.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon was surprised with the question the fan gave during the fan meet. It was _very specific_ and he summed up, ‘ah, this is a soonhoon shipper.’ When it comes to this matter, he didn’t dare to joke around or lie, but told what his heart truly wanted to say.

 

Right after the schedule ended, Jihoon was basically inseparable from Soonyoung. He was hugging him so tightly that his husband had no choice but to carry him around on his back.

 

He told Soonyoung about it before they went to sleep, and he simply responded with a peck on the forehead and a tight cuddle. “I love you,” he heard him whisper. He whispered back, “I love you too.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introducing: coco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdkjlglks thank you to all those who are reading this!! just seeing the amount of kudos in this work motivates to write more and i probably would since i have a bunch of ideas hehe the first part of this chap is based from going seventeen ep. 5 where the pup bam is shown!! this is probably the shortest out of the four but still please enjoy aaa (also, im @ujisae in twitter follow me if you like!!)

It’s the concert poster shooting for Diamond Edge. Make-up and stylist noonas are bustling around, making sure the boys looked and _stayed_ ready, while photographers are doing their best to finish the shooting as soon as possible. The location was quite spacious and had a tennis table that never seemed to be empty, though what took Jihoon’s attention was:

 

“Soonyoung!” Jihoon excitedly called out for his husband. “Soonyoung! Come here— aw, you’re so cute. You are, huh? Yes, you are!” It wasn’t unusual, but it wasn’t usual as well, to see Jihoon cooing. (“I will _never_ be used to Woozi-hyung being soft. Never.”) Soonyoung came jogging to the smaller, seeing him cradling a _puppy._

 

“His name is Bam,” he murmured. Jihoon was handling Bam so carefully as it was a baby. Soonyoung took Bam from him and rocked him back and forth. Seeing the two from a far, you’d think they were parents with their infant. Jihoon was playing with Bam, who was comfortably resting in Soonyoung’s arms, and they were both cooing at the puppy. The others were used to the couple looking as such when it came to a pup, especially with their own.

 

Their pup was named Coco, similar with Seokmin’s uncle (though they didn’t know until they introduced their baby to the family). Why Coco?

 

“Coco for my chicken, and Coco for your favourite cola!” It was stupid, but Jihoon fell under the spell of Soonyoung’s starry eyes. Coco it is.

 

Coco is a shih tzu, with a mix of brown and white fur. He’s small and liked to get in between his parents in everything, whether it may be in bed while sleeping, on the couch while cuddling, even when eating on the counter, you’d always see this little ball of fluff trying to squeeze his way, or simply poking his head in between. He isn’t hyperactive, but in the rare times he is, he’d run around the apartment and try to play around with his parents a lot. It’d amuse the couple so much and in return, would try to entertain their happy pup as much as they could.

 

Coco came about when the two were excitedly scrolling through pictures, gifs, and videos of puppies when they were taking a break in Jihoon’s studio. Jihoon was sitting on Soonyoung’s lap while the other was sitting on the chair. They can’t remember who was the first one to bring up adopting a puppy. All they knew was, the week after, they got Coco from their parents, after they jokingly messaged them to get them a puppy.

 

“It’s nice we have a puppy,” Jihoon mused as he stroked through Coco’s fur. The pup barked appreciatively.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I mean; we can’t have children. So Coco kinda… He instead became our baby,” Jihoon softly chuckled. He picked up Coco and nuzzled him while the pup gave him small licks.

 

“Who says we can’t have children?” Soonyoung smirked. Jihoon snapped his head towards his husband’s direction to glare at him. He took Coco’s toy, which was covered in slobber, and threw it. “You ruined the moment!” He yelled in frustration.

 

“Yah Kwon-Lee Jihoon! I was talking about adoption. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Soonyoung exclaimed before laughing loudly.

 

He stood up and sat beside the two on the rug. He hugged the smaller and rested his head on his shoulder. “Imagine it though, a little Jihoon, or a little Soonyoung, or even a little mix of us both! They’ll be running around the apartment, playing with Coco, and making noise everywhere. Hm?” He peeked at the other’s face, and saw him fighting a smile. Soonyoung laughed softly.

 

“But I know we can’t adopt now because of our hectic schedules. Maybe in a few years? Having parents who are active idols will be quite stressful for them, if ever.” Jihoon nodded. “For now, Coco’s enough,” he smiled at the ball of fluff in between his legs. The dog yapped happily.

 

(Coco was spoiled by the two. He was their eldest child, and enjoyed being the _only_ child for a long time. He doesn’t know when his parents will choose to give him a sibling, but he’s liking all the attention he’s having right now. He’s a happy pup.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how to deal with a sick hamster, a book by kwon-lee jihoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends im back jgfdl i dont know if i could update daily but ill try to until i probably reach 10 chapters? i still dont know until how many chapters this will have sooo let's just see ! anyways, this was inspired again by @jeoncheoled tweet in twt about jihoon taking care of soonyoung when he got sick in the middle of de ! enjoooy

In dealing with a sick Soonyoung, Jihoon follows 5 steps.

 

First, cocoon the sick hamster in thick blankets. He hates the cold, and would whine about it a lot. So, based from Jihoon’s experience, it’s better to cover him up early on. Also, do take note that Soonyoung sweats _a lot_ , so better change the blankets frequently.

 

“Jihoonie,” Soonyoung weakly calls out from his blanket sushi roll. It was hilarious for the other to see Soonyoung’s chubby cheeks and blonde head looking as if it was popping out from the roll. He was pouting, and his eyes were unable to be found, leaving two diagonal lines instead, “Food.”

 

Second in Jihoon’s list is to feed him with hot soup. In Soonyoung’s condition, he usually vomits any solids he was fed with, so he gives him soup instead.

 

He asked the managers if they could order some soup from room service, but found out they don’t. Buying it themselves it is.

 

“Soonyoung, I’m going out to buy soup. Sleep while I’m out, okay?” Jihoon softly said, while brushing his husband’s hair. ‘He still feels hot,’ he sadly mused. Soonyoung hummed, and nodded his head slightly. Jihoon got up and headed towards the door, “Take care, Ji,” Soonyoung whispered. The smaller smiled, and went out.

 

Jihoon and the managers tried to be as subtle as possible as they went out. They only have one goal: buy food for Soonyoung (and maybe for themselves as well), and return. In his opinion, it was quite successful. No one seemed to think it was Woozi from Seventeen, so all’s right. (“Jihoon-ah, did you go out earlier?” “Yeah, did someone tell you?” “Yeah, a fan in Twitter.” “Oh.”)

 

The next hour was spent with Jihoon feeding Soonyoung, wiping either sweat or spilt soup, giving him water, and repeat. He forgot to let the soup cool down before letting Soonyoung drink, so the other would have this pinched expression making his eyes _more_ hidden, and though Soonyoung’s tongue was burning, Jihoon couldn’t help but coo over the cuteness (before he realized his husband probably needed some water).

 

Third, make sure he takes his medicine regularly. Soonyoung should have eaten before this, because you should never take medicine with an empty stomach. Soonyoung doesn’t _hate_ medicine, he’s just picky. There are some that he’s tolerable with, while there are some he’s not. In this matter, he was okay. Making him take his medicine was fairly easy for Jihoon this time, since his patient wasn’t resisting. When he did, he resembled a child.

 

(“Jihoonie, no.”

 

“Soonyoung, you need to.”

 

“Jihoonie, _no_.”

 

“Soonyoung, stop being a child.”

 

“I’m not a child, Jihoonie. I’m just telling you _no medicine._ Not that.”

 

“Soonyoung, say ‘ah’.”

 

He firmly closed his mouth and indignantly shook his head. That’s how it was for the next hour, until Jihoon managed to trick him and forced the medicine in.)

 

Making him sleep was the fourth step. Rest was probably what he needed, since it was what they lacked due to tight schedules, especially since they were in the middle of a tour. Since Soonyoung was feeling drowsy, he managed to sleep fairly easily (well, in his condition).

 

Though it seemed creepy, it was one of Jihoon’s favourite past times to just watch Soonyoung in whatever he was doing. Whether it was dancing, playing with Coco, watching anime, or as he slept.

 

It was so _sappy_ , but looking at him just made him feel so _full of emotions._ It made him so happy that this man decided to spend the rest of his life with him, out of all people, and it just made him love Soonyoung more. He was thankful, appreciative, happy, comforted, and just so _in love_ with his husband. Who knew that the boy he pined for in the past will be his husband? He still can’t seem to have a grip on it.

 

The fifth isn’t really a step, but Jihoon always ends up doing it. Fifth was joining Soonyoung in bed, cuddling him, and just trying his best to cure him with his love.

 

He undid the sushi blanket and wrapped it again, but now with him in it as well. He rained kisses on Soonyoung’s face, no matter how sweaty it’d be. He then wrapped his body around Soonyoung, and eventually fell asleep. The other woke up a minute or two after, finding the smaller clinging onto him, and smiled. He pecked his forehead and wrapped his arm around him.

 

The next day, Soonyoung felt better.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how soonyoung and jihoon knew they were in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one wasn’t planned, and is done in my phone’s notes lol dksjjfsj got too emotional tonight and decided to pour it all here skdks might’ve done better but here you go, with my raw emotions lmao jk :( enjoy !!!!

Soonyoung knew he was in love the moment he made Jihoon laugh for the third time. ‘I’ll do everything to make him laugh,’ he pledged to himself.

There was a surge of happiness and affection when he heard him laugh back then because of a joke he made. It was in that moment he figured that he wanted to make this man happy as long as he could. It somewhat became his duty, or even purpose in life, to make Jihoon smile. Whenever he did, it was as if Jihoon just gave him oxygen to breathe, and everything was so light and happy because Jihoon was happy, so in turn, he’s happy.

Maybe that was when the goofiness took off. He didn’t care if it made him look stupid, as long as Jihoon was amused, he’d take it. As long as he could see Jihoon’s cute eye smile, and hear his high-pitched laugh, he’d take the embarrassment. After all, all of it was for the sake of Jihoon’s happiness. He’ll take everything, as long as he’s smiling.

The “pledge” carried on until they became closer, started dating, and got married. It was still an ongoing duty, and he will only be relieved of that when he leaves Earth. Just because they’re already together doesn’t mean he’ll stop treating Jihoon as if he was a prince, making him feel special and happy for the rest of his life. He may live for lots of things at the moment, like SEVENTEEN and Carats, Coco, and dancing, but he still lives for Jihoon’s laugh the most.

There were times Soonyoung thought, ‘I can lose everything that I have right now, just not Jihoon.’ It sounded really dependent and extreme, but Soonyoung couldn’t even bear to think of a world without his love.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon knew he was in love the moment Soonyoung accompanied him throughout his frequent breakdowns. It was one of those days when he locked himself in his studio, and Soonyoung knew there was something wrong. Seungcheol advised him to just leave Jihoon alone, yet he can’t seem to stay still. It didn’t feel right.

He went to Jihoon’s studio and tried to talk to the smaller. It was tough at first, as no one was answering and he thought Jihoon went somewhere else. The other eventually answered, and Soonyoung tried to slowly make Jihoon feel comfortable around him and made sure he didn’t feel any pressure or any overwhelming emotion as he settle in. They engaged in casual conversation until the atmosphere got comfortable enough for Jihoon to start opening up. Soonyoung stayed and listened, trying his best to let Jihoon feel that there’s someone for him.

It affected Jihoon greatly, since letting his emotions out to Soonyoung felt so relaxing and natural, as if he was confident that Soonyoung will be there for him throughout the way. He felt secured and as if he could actually breathe, for once. He didn’t know what magic Kwon Soonyoung pulled on him, but he was thankful he did.

As their relationship evolved and lengthened, he thought that Soonyoung would change and he wouldn’t feel that security and comfort he initially felt before they even started dating, yet it was still there. And as Soonyoung consistently accompanied Jihoon through his ups and downs, the more open he became with his partner.

Some fans may disagree and think of the complete opposite, but Jihoon’s actually a very expressive person, but it depends on the person he’s talking to. He likes letting his feelings out, and not keeping it in. It felt too suffocating and always wanted an outlet for his emotions, for example, his music. Soonyoung’s accustomed to his husband’s tendencies; how he likes to rant about things he gets frustrated and mad about, how he speaks in such a fast and high-pitched tone whenever he feels overexcited, and how he likes to just bury his head into Soonyoung’s shoulder and cry whenever things get tough. Jihoon’s glad Soonyoung’s there for him, through thick and thin, and in return, he makes sure to be there for him as well, through every step of the way.

 

* * *

 

Some say, in a relationship, you’ll only be in love with the person for a maximum of 4 years. Soonyoung and Jihoon dares to prove them wrong, because each and every day of their lives, they just fall deeper and deeper, as if they haven’t fell to the bottom of the pit already. Maybe they’ll say it’s because they’re still a young couple, or maybe their honeymoon stage is just prolonged. But for the couple, for as long as they’re breathing, they’ll do their very best to make the other feel loved through it all.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning sun, and a frantic soonyoung (basically, the first time soonyoung didn't know anything about jihoon. in this context, where he was)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is such a late update and im so sorry dslfjds ive been pretty occupied these days and honestly i was dragged into the idol producer fandom (watch it!! it's worth watching) and just got dragged back to svt. i hope this chapter's good enough! enjoooy

> _“Soonyoung! Where’s Jihoon?”_

_“Ah, Bumzu-hyung! He’s in the studio.”_

_“Dorm or Pledis?”_

_“Dorm!”_

 

* * *

 

_“Soonyoung-hyung! What’s Jihoon-hyung’s order? I can’t find him anywhere, and he’s not answering his phone.”_

_“Jjangmyeon.”_

 

* * *

 

_“He’s very particular with his food. Like, he always has to have rice while eating chicken.”_

_“He always eats octopus stir fry for breakfast!”_

_“He sticks rice in the freezer for a bit after microwaving it.”_

 

* * *

_“Soonyoung-hyung! Can you help me for a bit? Jihoon-hyung’s in the Pledis studio, and I really need this opinion quick. I mean, you know Jihoon-hyung’s tastes right?”_

_“Yeah… But is it really right to ask me about this, Vernon?”_

_“Yeah! So, anyways, what do you think sounds better? This… or this?”_

_“This one…?”_

_“Ha! I knew I could count on you, hyung! Thank you!”_

_“Yeah, but Vernon! Remember to still ask Jihoon’s opinion about it!”_

_“Hyung, the moment I’d tell him ‘Soonyoung-hyung chose this’ he’ll most likely choose the same!”_

 

* * *

 

“Where’s Jihoon?”

 

That’s the thought Soonyoung had the moment he woke up. It was 8:02 AM, and as a morning person, he was ready to spend the start of his (free) day staring at his husband. But, said husband isn’t there.

 

This confused Soonyoung. Jihoon, _not_ being a morning person, doesn’t like waking up before 11 AM during a free day. If he does, he’ll go back to sleep. Where is he?

 

 _‘Ah, probably at the dorms. You know how he is with his songs. He probably dreamt of a song idea again,’_ Soonyoung mused.

 

He dressed up, grabbed his house keys, and went out. _‘Weird, I can’t hear Coco today.’_ Soonyoung shrugged.

 

He entered the dorm to see a groggy Seungcheol standing behind the dining table, absentmindedly stirring a cup of coffee. He approached him, waving a hand in front of him, “Hyung? Hello?”

 

“Ah, Soonyoung. What are you doing here?”

 

“Why, hyung? Can’t I visit the dorms anymore?” Seungcheol stares at him blankly. “Sorry, hyung,” he smiled.

 

“Anyway, hyung. Is Jihoon here?” The older furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t think so… but you can go and check?”

 

He checks. He’s not there.

 

Where?

 

Pledis.

 

“He’s probably at Pledis. Bye, hyung!” Soonyoung hurriedly runs out of the dorm. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling so worried. He doesn’t know why his hands were feeling so clammy. He doesn’t know why his speed starts to increase in acceleration. For once, he doesn’t know where Jihoon was.

 

He didn’t bother taking the elevator; it’s too slow. Besides, Jihoon’s studio isn’t that far high up. He skips steps, sweat trickling down his face. He hastily swipes them away, and opens Jihoon’s studio.

 

Not there?

 

Then, where?

 

He runs back to the front desk. “Was Woozi here?” he asks the receptionist. “He hasn’t come today.” Shit.

 

Where?

 

It was 8:42 AM, and it was still the morning Soonyoung usually loved. The sun was used to seeing the man smiling by this time. Smiling at his dog, smiling at his neighbors, smiling at his breakfast, and smiling at his husband, who was peacefully unaware of the softness his husband was strongly radiating. The sun was confused. Why’s this boy frowning?

 

Soonyoung walked back, his mind so occupied with thoughts of where Jihoon might be, what he might be doing, who’s he with, and everything else. He may have bumped into people walking past him, though he might have subconsciously said ‘sorry’ as well.

 

Next thing he knew, he’s on their floor. The gate leading to the rooftop was open (has it always been open?) and he could hear a dog barking happily (hah, that sounds like Coco). Still preoccupied, he enters their unit, and flops onto the couch.

 

He digs his pocket for his phone, to see if someone had messaged or called.

 

Call…

 

_Oh my God, Soonyoung._

 

He hurriedly sat up, and dialed his Jihoonie’s number. With his foot tapping the floor anxiously, he’s waiting for the call to connect.

 

A ring could be heard, on top of their dining table. ‘ _Did Jihoon really leave his phone?’_

 

Exasperatedly, he gets up to retrieve Jihoon’s phone. Where the hell is Ji—

 

A note, by his phone.

 

_Hi Soonyoung!_

_I know it’s weird for me to be awake by this time (it’s 7:54 AM as I write this), but I guess this is a change in routine? I’m afraid I woke Coco up as well, and he’s very hyperactive today._

_You can find us at the rooftop! I want Coco to run around as much as he likes (without leaving the apartment lol), and didn’t you say that the sun before 9 AM was healthy for the skin?_

_I love you!_

_Jihoon_

_Oh my God, Soonyoung._

 

He walks briskly out of the unit, and up the stairs towards the roof. There they were.

 

Soonyoung loves the sun, without a doubt. But with the sight he’s greeted with, the sun was put to shame. There was Jihoon, the man he was frantically finding for the past half an hour. With his newly dyed blonde hair and pale skin under the sunlight, he’s shining.

 

_But he’s always shining in Soonyoung’s eyes._

 

Jihoon was sitting on the rooftop floor, playing with Coco. He was smiling so wide, making his eyes disappear. All Soonyoung’s exhaustion was lifted off. The smaller finally noticed his presence, and _how can he look brighter than earlier?_

 

The blonde patted the space beside him, and Coco barked at him invitingly. He sat beside them, and the pup happily indulged his other dad’s presence.

 

“It’s weird that you just woke up. You usually wake up by 8 AM, right?” Jihoon leans his head onto Soonyoung’s shoulder.

 

“Actually, I did wake up by 8,” Soonyoung murmurs.

 

“Hm? Then why did you just go up now?”

 

“I went to the dorm and Pledis.”

 

Jihoon, puzzled, furrowed his brows, “Why?”

 

Soonyoung chuckles, “I was looking for you.”

 

Jihoon cackles, surprising Coco. “You didn’t see my note?”

 

“The fact that you were out of bed before 11 was too shocking!”

 

“But the note was just on the dining table!”

 

Jihoon kept on laughing. Soonyoung sulked. Coco ran around the rooftop.

 

“Aw! Is my baby sulking?”

 

“Is this what the morning sun does to you, Kwon-Lee Jihoon?”

 

“The sun loves you too much! It’s forcing the softness out of me! Coco, help!”

 

“Arf arf!”

 

Jihoon dramatically laid down on Soonyoung’s lap, as if he was beaten by the sun. Coco, the knight in shining armour, runs towards his father, showering him with love. _‘I’ll save you, dad!’_

The sun sees Soonyoung smile again, wider than it usually was. He knew it was because of the man he’s with, who he usually saw sleeping, and the pup who kept on running around in circles. What a great morning, indeed.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't a normal day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello good morning AHAHA i was in the mood for angst recently and this suddenly came up heheheheheh i hope you guys like this 'cause honestly i don't know how i did in this kflsdjfs (s/o dun sa taong naghintay dito belat balakajan HAHAHHA)

It was a normal day. Jihoon woke up on his bed. The ceiling was an arm away. He could hear the chatter by his friends outside the door, and the smell of something cooking was persuading him to wake up (ugh, Mingyu). His long, blonde hair was a mess, and Soonyoung’s… not beside him?

 

In a snap, Jihoon noticed it wasn’t a normal day.

 

Why was he back in the dorms? He’s sure that he slept in their apartment last night because it was the last day of promotions. The ceiling shouldn’t be an arm away ‘cause Soonyoung could jump on their bed and still won’t get his head bumped by the ceiling. Mingyu shouldn’t be cooking at their kitchen, ‘cause Mingyu already made it clear to them how much he distastes their poor kitchen. His hair shouldn’t be long; the last time he had shoulder length hair was before their debut.

 

It wasn’t a normal day.

 

He sat up, and tried to make sense of his surroundings. He’s in their dorms, but not exactly? Everything was familiar. The old paint coloring the walls, the crowded space, and messy bedroom. Yes, this was their dorm, specifically their old dorm.

 

Jihoon can’t grasp the situation. Why was he back in their old dorm? It was as if he was transported back in time. How could he not think that when his whole appearance looked as if he was back in 2015.

 

‘ _Don’t be silly, Jihoon. This is just a dream,_ ’ he chastised himself.

 

_‘Yeah, just a dream,_ ’ he nodded. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself as he felt an anxiety attack creeping through.

 

_‘If I were transported back in 2015, then Soonyoung and I are already together?’_ At least he could still have Soonyoung’s comfort in this dream. Maybe he could explain his situation to him? I think his (soon-to-be) husband will be ecstatic to hear how their life is in 2017.

 

“I can’t believe I’m on ‘Waking Jihoon Up’ duty,” someone groaned. ‘ _It’s Seungcheol,’_ Jihoon saw as the man becomes visible by the doorframe. Seungcheol looked younger, which made Jihoon cement his thoughts. His best friend was lanky, and lacked the muscles, which, he refuses to admit, 2017 Seungcheol has.

 

“Oh? You’re already awake, Jihoon?” The mentioned snapped out from his thoughts, and slowly nodded.

 

While Seungcheol was secretly celebrating that he didn’t need to go through the lengths to wake up his (beloved) best friend, Jihoon was still out of it, despite his constant thoughts saying, _‘It’s just a dream.’_

It was the old doorway. Every member he passed by had their old haircuts. Every member he passed by had their old figure. If he wasn’t so shaken up, he would’ve laughed at their faces. He doesn’t know if Cheol was telling him something, if it was anything important or what, but _‘I mean, this is just a dream, right?’_ So it’s okay if he zoned out (for everything) a bit.

 

Next thing he knew, he’s in the kitchen. Next thing he knew, he was bombarded by the past, more than he was just a few minutes ago. Next thing he knew, _Soonyoung!_

 

He ran towards his still-boyfriend, and hugged him tightly. It was very unlikely of him to do so, but this was just a dream, right? He’s too happy to see Soonyoung after experiencing so much shock and anxiety, and he just wanted to bask in the comfort his love brings him.

 

Soonyoung giggled, “What happened to you? Why is Lee Jihoon suddenly hugging people in the morning? Especially me, Kwon Soonyoung?”

 

Jihoon doesn’t mind Soonyoung’s teasing tone. He just buried his head in the taller’s chest.

 

“I don’t know as well! When I came to wake him up, he was already sitting up on his bed! So weird.” If he was sane, he probably would’ve killed Cheol right there and then, but he’d rather not leave the warmth he’s in right now.

 

The members started teasing him, and Soonyoung was probably in it as well, but he couldn’t seem to care. Just give him a few more minutes; he needed this.

 

“Good morning!”

 

Suddenly, he was being pushed off. There’s no more Soonyoung providing him with warmth. There’s no more comfort, security, and plain sanity. His few minutes wasn’t finished! He was ready to whine, and just be the baby they keep on teasing him about.

 

But, with this sight he was suddenly given?

 

(His) Soonyoung was hugging a smiley Seokmin from behind, clearly enjoying everything. It was as if they were in their own world. They were having their own conversation, said with hushed tones that was so unlikely when it comes to the duo. Their eyes never left each other, and you could feel warmth. With the human embodiment of the Sun, and the star of their lives (especially Jihoon’s), how can you not?

 

It was as if he was punched. All the air that was previously in his lungs was nowhere to be found, and suddenly moisture could be felt at the rim of his eyes. Jihoon forgot how to breathe. Jihoon doesn’t know how to stop staring at the two. Jihoon was at lost, and stood like a statue. _This is all a dream, right?_

 

The warmth he felt just a few minutes ago was suddenly turned into ice cold. Earlier, his star was just within his reach, but now, it was as if it rejoined the galaxy.

 

_‘Hey, can I already wake up?’_

_‘Whoever’s listening, can I please wake up?’_

_‘This is too painful, and I don’t know what your plan was, but can I wake up?’_

_‘I just want my Soonyoung back, please.’_

 

* * *

Wonwoo found Jihoon strange that morning. First, he hugs Soonyoung out of nowhere, then looks at the couple as if the universe just killed the puppy he had since he was a kid, and after being accidentally stepped on by Jun, ran to his room and locked himself in. They were silent for awhile, but shrugged it off thinking, _‘maybe he lacked sleep.’_

He was still bothered about it, and decided to pass by the locked room. He was about to knock, when he heard sobs and repeated cries. ‘ _Wake me up, please. I want to be with my Soonyoung.’_ Wonwoo was fuming.

 

How dare he? How dare he cry over Soonyoung as if he had a right to be in pain? How dare he, when he caused Soonyoung pain before?

 

The memory of Soonyoung looking as if life was sucked right out of him for a whole month is still fresh in Wonwoo’s memory. His best friend was suddenly nowhere to be found, and in place was a shell, a very hollow shell. There were no corny jokes, no loud and high-pitched laughs, and pure excitement. Yes, Soonyoung was physically present, but where he really was? Lost, and broken by Jihoon.

 

 

Jihoon doesn’t know what happened. Suddenly Wonwoo was bursting in his room with a spare key in his hand, looking furious. If you ask him, that was the most furious he had ever seen Wonwoo be.

 

He started shouting at him about… Soonyoung? How Soonyoung was crying for a whole month? How he broke Soonyoung? How he had no right to cry? How he was an asshole?

 

What?

 

Everything the other was saying couldn’t sink in his mind. He couldn’t even _imagine_ hurting Soonyoung to that extent. (His) Soonyoung and him liked dealing with problems on the spot. (His) Soonyoung doesn’t like sleeping with the thought of Jihoon being mad at him, and after years of being together, Jihoon developed the same trait. Hurting Soonyoung? Making him cry? For a month? How much of a _monster_ this Jihoon was?

 

Wonwoo was still shouting at him, and Jihoon’s tears just kept on flowing.

 

‘ _Wake me up, please_.’

_‘Whoever’s listening, can I please wake up?’_

_‘This is too painful, and I don’t know what your plan was, but can I wake up?’_

_‘I just want my Soonyoung back, please.’_

 

_‘Please—’_

 

* * *

 

Jihoon woke up on his bed. The ceiling was far away. He could hear the faint noises from the road outside their apartment, and Coco’s soft pats around their room. His blonde hair was a mess, and Soonyoung’s… beside him.

 

It was 7 AM, and he usually falls back to sleep, but now, he just can’t stop staring at Soonyoung. He looked at his finger to see his ring right in place, and looked at their small table to see their photo. He turned back to look at his husband (his husband!) and feels full of emotions. He suddenly wanted to cry, just with the sight of Soonyoung sleeping beside him.

 

Jihoon squeezed himself in Soonyoung’s side and clung onto him. Soonyoung woke up to the sound of some sniffles, and saw his love hugging him as if he was a tree and Jihoon’s a koala (which, he may be).

 

“Why are you crying, Ji?”

 

“Nothing. I love you, Soonyoung. I love you so much, please don’t forget that.”

 

Soonyoung’s confused, but he just kisses Jihoon’s head, and whispered, “I love you too.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soonyoung and jihoon's midnight dates, explained?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is inspired from the recent news about soonhoon's frequent midnight dates HAHAHAH im here to strengthen the "soonhoon is married" idealism (im joking but am i really) so here!! i hope y'all would enjoy, cause as i always say, idk how i did in this chapter hehehehe

In Soonyoung and Jihoon’s peaceful, simple, and secret relationship, they do a lot of things together. It may be singing karaoke whenever they feel like it (which explains the wireless microphone their neighbor gave as a gift), watching new Marvel releases whether on the first or second night since its premiere, and midnight food dates.

 

Their midnight dates started when they were still dating. Soonyoung was spending time in Jihoon’s studio when he heard a loud stomach rumble. (“Jihoon… was that you?” “Hehe.”) He then found out that the smaller hasn’t eaten anything for the whole day other than a few cups of ramen. A few minutes later, they ended up spending half an hour in McDonalds.

 

It all continued from there. At first it was occasional, twice a month, weekly, then every other day. Due to their busy schedules, those cliché romantic dates people normally dream for wasn’t really that attainable for the two, and these midnight dates make up for it. They switch it up every now and then, one night they’re in a fast-food chain, then the next night they’re eating samgyupsal.

 

How do these dates come about?

 

“Baby?”

 

“Baby!”

 

“Soonie…”

 

“KWON-LEE SOONYOUNG WE’RE GOING OUT TO EAT!”

 

“Coco wants some food, and I want some food as well.”

 

_‘Hey I’m hungry. Go to the studio asap tnx bye love u!’_

That’s just a few from the variety of greetings Soonyoung gets from his husband. It all depends on Jihoon’s mood, but most of the time it’d just happen without any sound. It’s as if they were reading each other’s minds, acting without any verbal communication.

 

Recently, their dates have gained attention from the media and Carats. First was when Jihoon shared about him asking around their dorm if they’d like to eat in one of his VLives, and he mentioned that Soonyoung agreed as soon as he asked.

 

Here’s how the story really went:

 

“Soonyoung, I want Dak Galbi.”

 

“Dak Galbi? Yeah, sure. Let me just get my coat—”

 

“I don’t want to go out.”

 

“…Can we make Dak Galbi?”

 

“To be honest, Soonie, we suck at cooking.”

 

“Rude! Also, you can’t lie. I have voice recordings of your spontaneous comments whenever I cook for you.”

 

“You what?”

 

“Anyways, do you want to ask some members if they’d like to eat?”

 

“How do I not notice you recording me?”

 

“Jihoon, clock is ticking!”

 

“…Okay.”

 

As Soonyoung predicted, the smaller succeeded (though, with reluctance).

 

Second was when Soonyoung posted a screenshot of their group chat in Instagram, where a selca of theirs was sent after Bumzu asked for the couple, who “hasn’t eaten.” He didn’t know the consequences (or blessings?) he was going to experience after posting that picture.

 

“Out of all the screenshots you have in that phone of yours, that’s the one you chose to post?” Jihoon whined.

 

They were in the midst of eating, and Coco was peacefully taking a nap on Jihoon’s lap. Soonyoung was forced to pause from slurping ramen when his husband suddenly whined loudly.

 

“What’s wrong with it? It doesn’t look suspicious or anything, and look! Carats love it,” Soonyoung giggled, as he scrolled through the comments.

 

“I know, but! I don’t look good,” Jihoon pouted.

 

In their 3 years of marriage (and counting), Jihoon pouting still made him flustered.

 

Soonyoung gasps, “You?! Don’t look good?!” He immediately slurped his noodles, drank a huge gulp of water, and held his phone.

 

“Aaah! Jihoon-oppa! He looks so good!! Heart eyes emoji,” Soonyoung read out.

 

“Omo!! Is that Jihoon-oppa’s bare face I see??? Aaaah! He still looks cute!!!”

 

“Jihoon could stab me with his fork.”

 

Jihoon laughed, “Okay, Soonyoung, I get it.”

 

The rest of the night was spent with Soonyoung taking stolen pictures of Jihoon, and showing it to his husband with a “See?! You always look good!” Jihoon won’t stop blushing.

 

Last was when Bumzu posted the food the couple sent him being the annoying friends they were. It caused chaos in Instagram and Twitter, and it was found out that Jihoon and Soonyoung were eating out. It amazed them how fast Carats knew about their midnight date, but what did they expect?

 

“I think we should eat in more now,” Jihoon mused as he scrolled through tweets about their midnight rendezvous.

 

“But we already promised the samgyupsal auntie that we’ll come back tomorrow!”

 

“Then, we’ll have to disguise more.”

 

Soonyoung tsks, “Don’t mind them already, Jihoon! As long as they’re not doing anything bad like stalking us here, it’s alright! Also, I want to see your cute face whenever we’re out.”

 

A smack.

 

“But what about Coco?”

 

“He’s playing with Aji today, right?”

 

“Yeah, but he won’t play with Aji every night!”

 

“Then let’s bring him along!”

 

“Not all restaurants or fast-food chains are as lenient as samgyupsal auntie!”

 

“We’ll show them how behaved Coco is!”

 

The couple continued bickering as they always do, and the restaurant staff should be concerned, if the smiles and laughs they kept on having wasn’t present. Other than that, they could just see two men spending time with each other, out of the limelight.

 

As soon as they got back to the dorms, they see Coco heavily asleep on Soonyoung’s bed, clearly tired from playing with Mingyu’s hyperactive pup.


End file.
